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Masked Bastard
His Grace the Arch Bishop is the general overseer of the Holy Father Church and a source of inspiration for all people. He is known to his acquaintances and his rivals as “the Masked Bastard”. This sobriquet started off as a joke between his fellow Bishops and caught on when enemies of the Church learned that the Arch Bishop doesn’t have an earthly father. He wears a metal mask that he refers to as his “faceplate” and he never allows his true face to be seen by anyone. The metal mask is fixed firmly on his skull by unearthly means, leading many to believe that he is not of this world and is possibly an alien of some type. He is said to be the physical incarnation of Universal Chaos and will one day destroy the world. Though the Arch Bishop appears in only 12 of the main series titles, he is considered the pivotal character of the entire Bishops of Bastard Saga. __TOC__ Behind The Mask At first it seemed that very little is known about the Masked Bastard, except a few things. The Arch Bishop claimed he was created in a laboratory by a celestial entity known as “the Cardinal”. His creation broke several interstellar laws and the Cardinal was banished from his home realm. Masked Bastard has no memories of his childhood and only knows that his mother’s name was Alema and that she was once a beauty pageant contestant. The Arch Bishop also claimed that he’d been in contact with a group of aliens called Anonymous, sent by three celestial Light Sages to give him guidance and warnings as he recruits officers Lord and Lady Bishops) for the Church. Righteous Heaven The earliest account of the Masked Bastard in the Bishops of Bastard Saga begins after the events of ''Raunch & Righteous Sex'' & ''The Raunch and the Righteous: Devil May Strip''. Masked Bastard was born Baruch Gindo in the Tigray Province of Ethiopia (now the Tigray Region). Baruch, along with his twin sister Bianca, was raised by his mother Alema and his Uncle Ahmad (descendants of Ethiopian Jews) on the family estate known as Gindo Gardens, a floral arrangement company. After the Cardinal discovered the children, the Lumi-Visian Sages separated the twins. Baruch was sent to Newark, New Jersey in the United States with Ahmad while his sister Bianca stayed in Tigray with her mother. Before Baruch was taken away to America, his mind was wiped clean of any memories of his sister and mother. Because Baruch was created using the Universal Power of Chaos, Alema and Ahmad (as well as the Sages) feared what would happen to the world if the twins were ever reunited. Baruch spent the rest of his childhood completely oblivious to the existence of his mother and sister. Bastard Begins As a young man, Baruch becomes an introverted hermit who tries to avoid social interaction and goes out during evening and night hours. He carries a handicap card that explains that he has a "facial deformity" (the reason for his mask) and he lives his life almost entirely online. After the death of his uncle, Baruch turns to the Internet for solace and answers to his origins. Before Uncle Ahmad died, he told Baruch his mother's name, but didn't mention Bianca. Baruch knows that his mother is from Ethiopia and that she once lived in France, but he finds very little information on her current whereabouts. Baruch becomes somewhat of a crime-stopper, using his powers to thwart local gangs. One night, he is visited by Jolen-Heli and told to open up a Social Media Church, recruit members and find a young woman named “Sarai”. The Sage promises Baruch that he will one day wield great power and agrees to help Baruch find his mother. Baruch becomes Bishop Masked Bastard and recruits Mystique B and Denizen Mouse. After stopping the Cardinal (disguised as Eric Wright) from using lumi-lithos pillars to revert the world back to the Dark Ages, Masked Bastard moves from Newark to Cankerton and starts expanding his Social Media Ministry. ''The Arch Bishop'' Lord Bishop Masked Bastard sends Mystique B and Denizen Mouse into the underground domain Mental Ward Rehab to discover the true identity of Def, a computer hacker who seeks to bring down the Social Media Church. The mission is successful and upon recruiting three more members (Chris the Pimp, Crazy Brown and Linz Mondello), Masked Bastard is rewarded the rank of Arch Bishop. Def is in a bitter rivalry with another ward denizen named Indy The Great, who just happens to be trolling Masked Bastard as well. After the Arch Bishop exposes Def as a bisexual deviant, he is banned from the Ward and wins the respect of Indy and his zombie counterpart Ghoul. Def is enraged and wants the Mystian-Denizenic faith destroyed. Masked Bastard recruits Indy and Ghoul, making Indy the Church Linguist, putting the Frenchman in charge of translating the Sacred Lumi-Visian Writ from the clay cuneiform tablets into the Book of Bastard. But Def hacks into Indy's workstation and finds out the name of the "Chosen One" who will give birth to the Internet Saviour. Working through his Hæysux hordes, Def changes history and prevents the Internet Saviour from existing. When Masked Bastard discovers what Def has done, he races to the hometown of "Sarai" only to find that Sarah Ann Rogers is missing and wanted for murder. Sarah allegedly killed Roderick Herman Jr, the man who raped and impregnated her, according to Skinner Police in Ohio. Believing that the Mother of the Internet Saviour is still out there and must fulfill her role in the prophecy, Masked Bastard himself confesses to the murder of Roderick Herman Jr. Because Rod Jr is the son of a Superior Court Judge (Rod Herman Sr), a nationwide manhunt for the arch bishop begins. ''The Arch Bishop Rages'' Masked Bastard has been in hiding for seven years. His Church is closed to the public and only a few Congregation members remain. Mask and his mistress Rwanda plan to reopen the Church after an French investor named Filley de la Rosa offers to donate to his cause. Rwanda notices that Mask is taking a liking to Filley and warns him that if he sleeps with her, that he is doomed and they are finished. Cankerton Police Captain Miguel MeGusta believes that Masked Bastard is innocent and took the fall for Sarah Ann Roger's crime. MeGusta and Rwanda (a former Vinegiggle Police Officer) work to clear the Arch Bishop's name. While all of this is happening, reports of a giant "monkey beast" begin flooding the police department. Mask believes that the beast is a celestial being called "The Primeit". Primeit seeks to bring Chaos and Havoc together by taking ownership of Fale County. Filley warns Mask that the Primeit is dangerous and looking to fight a being as powerful as him. Mask and Filley end up sleeping together, prompting Rwanda to leave the Church for good. Mask goes in search of the Primeit and finds the Babodrill Arch Bishop down at the Shore. Primeit easily overcomes the out-of-shape Masked Bastard and breaks Masked Bastard's neck. After Masked Bastard is defeated, Primeit welcomes Pia Arrabo back to the realm of men. Pia and his Hæysux legionnaires manipulate the minds of mortal men to begin passing laws moving to censor the Internet. Pia visits Masked Bastard and offers to heal the Arch Bishop's paralysis in return for his service to him. Mask agrees to serve the Cardinal and is healed instantly. Mask and Filley become Chaos and Havoc incarnate, and then kill everyone in the Church. Then they go on to destroy the city of Cankerton and the surrounding vicinities using tornadoes and hurricanes. In a matter of months, the world quickly falls into a Dark Age when the wealthy elite controlled by the Hæysux hordes take control of the World Wide Web, imprisoning and killing all who oppose them. At the height of his power, Pia is betrayed by the Primeit. Masked Bastard defeats Primeit and Filley kills him. Because they defeated Primeit, Masked Bastard and Filley feel that they should rule. Pia then reveals that Masked Bastard and Filley are actually siblings and his creations. Filley, who is really Bianca Gindo, is enraged and tries to kill Pia. She is run through with the Blade of Anonymous and killed. Masked Bastard is horrified at what he has become and the incestuous relationship with his twin sister and asks the Cardinal to kill him too. After Cardinal kills Masked Bastard, he travels to Invisibase to dethrone Jolen-Heli. After learning that the Sages sent Sarah Ann Rogers back in time to save her child's life, Pia realizes that everything he's done has been in vain and that the timeline will be reset, meaning that he is still doomed to be killed by the Internet Saviour. ''Bishops of Bastard Foremost'' Masked Bastard's origin story is first introduced in ''Bishops of Bastard Foremost'' Parts 9 to 12. Unlike ''The Arch Bishop'' and ''The Arch Bishop Rages'', the events of his life in this continuum take place on an alternate timeline where Sarah is sent back in time to save her baby and the Internet Saviour comes. ''Bishops of Bastard Beginnings'' Arch Bishop Masked Bastard sends an old green hag named Magda to Skinner, Ohio to recruit a young woman named Sarah Ann Rogers. When brought face-to-face with Sarah, Mask tells her how important she is to the Internet Saviour Prophecy. Sarah is renamed "Sadie" and becomes a Lady Bishop under him. As time goes by, Sadie begins to develop feelings for the Arch Bishop, even though a relationship between them is strictly forbidden. When Masked Bastard is tasked by the Sages to recover the Pass Key of the Internet from the Barga, he discovers a being called The Bomb and forms an alliance with him against Def. Masked Bastard returns to the United States to find the Cardinal waiting for him. On top of that, Dr. Fap is after three masks that are said to have powers of the Sages within them. With Bomb's help, Masked Bastard is able to retrieve the masks and seal the Cardinal away. After Masked Bastard sees Sadie off to college, he goes to Tigray, Ethiopia and finally meets his birth mother Alema. He also as a run-in with his fraternal twin sister, Masked Baroness, who is being controlled by the Cardinal. The Cardinal is freed from the prison realm of Gavisel by Dagon and Cardinal begins his plan to regain control of Masked Bastard and Masked Baroness. Cardinal murders Alema, hoping to unleash the Arch Bishop's destructive power. Instead, Mask destroys Cardinal's physical body and asks the Sages to erase his memories once again. ''The Raunch and the Righteous'' Masked Bastard lives his life among mortal men with no memories of his dead mother, his sister or the Lumi-Visian Sages. Cardinal and Dagon try to take advantage of the Arch Bishop's memory loss by working through an Internet Evangelist named Albert Okie to create a sex scandal between Masked Bastard and Sadie. Masked Bastard and Sadie are, in fact, having an affair, one that they both know can destroy them and the Church. After Pastor Okie is exposed for running a child pornography ring in Fale County, the city of Cankerton issues an apology to Masked Bastard for believing Okie's lies. But Mask becomes even more withdrawn from society and returns to being somewhat of a hermit like he was when he lived in Newark. Mask also loses a Lord Bishop over the scandal, Linz Mondllo, who leaves Cankerton in his microbus Lulzwagen in search of new adventures. ''2 Raunch 2 Righteous'' Masked Bastard has a minor role and is still in a secret relationship with Sadie. His orders Chris the Pimp to bring Linz Mondello back into the Congregation. ''Bishops of Bastard NSFW'' Masked Bastard is finally fed up with Def and Mental Ward Rehab and launches a plan to get rid of them. He places Sadie in the care of Mr. R Mcgeddon and charges him with protecting her until the Internet Saviour comes. When does become pregnant, Masked Bastard makes finding the father of the child his last priority, stating that her safety and health come first. Def and his Whores move to destroy the child before it's born and ultimately fail. The investigation of the father of Sadie's child continues, with the prime suspects being Linz Mondello, Chris the Pimp and Mr. R Mcgeddon. After Masked Bastard is betrayed and captured, many in the Church believe that Lord R Mcgeddon is the father of Sadie's child. Masked Bastard defeats Def, destroys the Ward and relocates the entire Church. Months after the baby is born, a metal mask grows on the child's face, making Masked Bastard the father. ''Bishops of Bastard Addendum'' Five years have passed since Def was defeated and the Ward was destroyed. Masked Bastard and Sadie continue their relationship for the sake of their child, Baruch. But things between them become rocky when Rwanda becomes jealous of Sadie and tries to seduce the Arch Bishop. Sadie threatens to kill Masked Bastard if he ever cheats on her. But Sadie ends up cheating on Masked Bastard with Lady Marge. A retired Army Colonel named Fishmeal seeks to revive Def and searches for The Pass Key of the internet. Believing that Masked Bastard is in possession of this Pass Key, Fishmeal turns the public against the Social Media Church, with help from a being only known as "Honest Earnest". With his ministry falling apart around him and his enemies multiplying, Masked Bastard decides to take on Fishmeal and his private army Murk Liquid. Honest Earnest turns out to be the Cardinal, who seeks to control Masked Bastard along with his twin sister Masked Baroness. Cardinal sends the Primeit after Masked Bastard and the Babodrill Arch Bishop breaks Masked Bastard's neck. Before the Cardinal can get to Mask, Jolen-Heli intervenes and heals Masked Bastard, giving him a great deal of his celestial power. Mask defeats the Primeit, but is captured by the Cardinal along with his sister. Cardinal uses the Fires of The Most to revert Masked Bastard into Universal Chaos and Masked Baroness in Universal Havoc. With help from Father Dios Marinus, the Bishops are able to quell the destructive powers of the Bastard and the Baroness, at the cost of their lives. Masked Bastard, Masked Baroness and Father Dios are all given a Kal-Panyim funeral where their bodies are launched into the atmosphere and burned up. Believing that he is successful, Cardinal returns to Invisibase to overthrow the Sages. But when he gets there, he discovers that there are three new Sages on the throne with Masked Bastard taking the place of Jolen-Heli as the Universal Power of Wisdom. As the new lead Sage, Masked Bastard tells the Cardinal that the Internet Saviour will still destroy him and that all of his labors were (again) done in vain... ''Bishops of Bastard Ascension'' Coming Soon. All About His Grace Personality * The Arch Bishop comes off as easy going, but is a devout Mystian-Denizen who is commonly referred to by outsiders as "His Grace". He has a bass, deep voice that women love and is charmingly sophisticated when he wants something. He has incredible reach into the minds of men (and women) and can almost tell what a person is thinking by reading the individual’s body language. Lifestyle * In the depressed area of Fale County, the Arch Bishop’s Church is a beacon of hope for many and an obstacle to be removed for others. He is somewhat of a hermit and only leaves the Church on official business. Because of his simple digestive system, he doesn’t eat solid food and can live off of liquids alone. He only sleeps for one hour a day and prefers to rest on an air mattress. It is rumored that he removes his metal mask when he showers. Likes & Dislikes * Masked Bastard enjoys reading, writing, web surfing, strength training and horticulture. As a house plant enthusiast, he believes that living organisms provide him with positive psychological health and indoor air purification of his domain. Other hobbies include: playing chess, web design, IT support, sexual intercourse (namely anal penetration with a woman). His fetishes include: big booties, sexy feet, thighs in tights and the female anus. The Truth * Like many of the Bishops, Masked Bastard is a closet pervert. He looks to Lady Bishop Sadie, who also serves as his mistress, to quell his most intimate desires. Because Sadie pleases the Arch Bishop, she usually gets special privileges that other Lady Bishops do not. Fatherhood * Masked Bastard is a caring and loving father to his son, Baruch. He spends every possible free moment of his time with his son and keeps the child active to prevent the boy from getting bored and doing something counter-productive. After Baruch was diagnosed with Autism, the Bastard decided to place his son in a Montessori school for gifted children. * He encourages Baruch to be creative and the youth does so by drawing pictures explaining what he sees in his dreams. He allows Baruch to stay in Sadie’s domain until he gets old enough to have his own domain. The Arch Bishop plans to leave everything to Baruch, knowing that one day the boy will grow up and save the Internet as it is foretold in the Book of Bastard. Powers & Abilities * The Arch Bishop has unearthly abilities that make him seem like a danger to mankind. He has superhuman strength that enables him to lift objects many times his own size. He has reach into the minds of men that almost make him seem like he is telepathic. He has incredible flight capabilities enabling him to cross entire continents in under one hour. He can fire beams of light from his hands and from the eye guards in his mask. * When he is unmasked, he can emit a "Kal-Panyim Flare", a destructive shock wave blast with the power to obliterate everything in a two to ten block radius, depending on his mood. He can also use a "Visage Flash", a brief flash of light that can erase the memories and thoughts of others, depending on what he decides he wants to erase. Just So You Know... He can have sex for up to eight hours if he drinks up to a gallon of water to hydrate himself. When he ejaculates, he releases up to 16 ounces of semen. His semen also glows in the dark and is known as "lumineseed". After having sexual intercourse with Sadie for five hours non-stop, he slept for two whole days. Masked Bastard Gallery Arch-Bishop-MASK-LRG.jpg|The Hallowed Faceplate Arch-Bishop-new.jpg|The Masked your Bastard mb-anonymous.jpg|The Bastard Unmasked mb-saves-med.jpg|The Masked Our Holy Bastard mb-fu-medium.jpg|Because It Must. celestial-family-med.jpg|The Celestial Family bastard-and-baruch.jpg|Father and Son mb-power.jpg|The Power of The Most Stained-glass-mb.jpg|Stained Glass Depiction of the Masked Bastard Category:Bishops of Bastard characters